joi, 14 ianuarie 2016

It's 1am and she is packing..

Era unu fix când m-am uitat la ceas ultima dată...
Mama se învârte de nebună prin casă, îşi face bagajul. Mâine pleacă. Gata toţi au plecat, suntem doar noi de noi acasă. Azi am primit cea mai faină replică, un citat care cândva l-am şi postat pe pagină de FB a blogului: "Nu contează cum e casa ci, cine locuieşte acolo." Mereu mă plâng că apartamentul părinţilor mei e demodat şi arată mai mult ca un muzeu părăsit. E 1:10, citesc şi mai arunc un ochi pe FB... Aştept să-mi scrie cineva, oricare din ei. Ignor total, îmi scriu amicii, acum neinteresant cumva. M-am gândit mult la blog, şi ce tare îmi lipseşte laptopul, că nu am unde să-mi vărs droaia de cuvinte şi idei ce nu-mi dau pace. Ne-au vizitat nişte prieteni ai mamei, Silvano, italianul meu preferat din toţi cei cunoscuţi, iar m-a fascinat prin tăcerea şi explicaţia tăcerii. Am uitat italiană complet şi asta m -a stânjenit oribil şi totuşi după un pahar de bere cu tata cuvintele şi-au mai găsit locul. Meditez asupra vieţii constant, însă acasă înconjurată de prietenii vechi ai alor mei (oamenii cu care am crescut, pe care i-am admirat sau judecat copiil fiind) mi am dat seama de galopul vieţii... De cum te schimbi şi de cât de importantă e familia, cazul meu neamul infit de mare şi infinit de divers. Adjudecat, acasă rămâne locul unde amintirile nu încetează să ne nască sau să reînvie. M-am distanţat mult de oraşul natal şi credeam că nu-mi mai oferă nimic, m-am înşelat. Acasă, în cripta mea, în frig şi gălăgie e locul unde mă simt demenţial de liberă. Între oameni care mă ştiu de când eu încă nu mă ştiam.

                                      I was wearing Miss Miss jeans and TerrNova blouse.












Last time I looked at the phone, it was 1am ...My mother spins like crazy around the house, doing her luggage. Tomorrow she leaves. Done, everybody went home, we are finally alone, just us. Today I received a great response, a quote that I once posted on the FB blog's page: "I doesn't matter how the house looks but who lives in it." I always complain that my parent's apartment is dated and looks more like an abandoned museum. It's 1:10am, I read and from time to time I check my FB ...It's like I'm waiting for someone to write me something, any of them, but instead it’s total silence. Maybe some friends are saying "Hi", but in this moment it seems uninteresting. I thought a lot about blogging, and how deeply I miss my laptop. I have lots of ideas in my head, many thoughts and stuff, and I wish I could write them down, just to clear my head a bit. Some friends of my mother, visited us, Silvano, my favorite Italian of all I have known, fascinated me again with his silence and his silence explanation. I completely forgot Italian and that embarrassed me horribly. Yet, after a glass of beer with my dad the words have found their place and I could chat with Silvano a bit. I constantly meditate on life, but home surrounded by old friends of my parent's (people I grew up with, people that I admired and judged as a child) made me realize the gallop of life ... How you change and how important family is, in my case, my huge and infinitely diverse family. For me, home remains the place where memories never ceases to be born or to revive. I distanced my hometown more than I thought, and I was pretty sure it has noting to offer anymore, I was wrong. At home, in my crypt, where it's cold and noisy is where I feel insanely free. Among people who know me since I didn't knew myself.
Today's quote: "When everyone goes home, you're stuck with yourself. "

 

marți, 5 ianuarie 2016

A book, a voice, a gesture..

Citesc pe tren o carte interesantă cu mici povestiri. Cochetez cu tipul din paralel, pe al cărui piept sunt picioarele iubitei. Mănânc nişte pizza ascult muzică şi gândesc la tine. gândesc la viaţă mea şi la deciziile luate:) Budapesta mi s-a cuibărit deja în inimă. Prietenii mei cred iar voi ieşii răvășita din povestea asta, sper nu, cred de data asta am fost mai lucidă. Încă mai gândesc la tine, gândesc şi la alţii în paralel, îmi analizez statutul de "dronă" şi îmi dau seama cât îmi plac călătoriile. Cât invidiez fericirea altora şi cât îmi place fast food-ul pe care mereu îl evit. Există mereu ceva care te scoate din realitatea ta şi te bagă în realitatea comună... O carte, un glas, un gest. Alex nu înţelege de ce mie şi Oanei ne place pozăm orice, el e tehnic, noi...Noi suntem aeriene, suntem femei, ne pierdem în detalii. Citește şi el, şi Oana, eu m-am pus pe scris, cartea m-a băgat în gânduri şi cumva m-am trezit iar într-o viaţă care nu vreau -mi aparţină. gândesc la G, gândesc de ce nu-l vreau ca iubit, de ce mi-e frică!? Îmi aduc aminte seara când am stat la el, la bere şi film, îl vroiam, dar doar pentru îmi era inaccesibil cred, sau poate berea era motivul? Recent, mi-a zis vrea ne cuddle-uim când ne vedem, şi eu vrea... Dar îmi e frică nu stric prietenia, mai fac nişte poze la pasajele din carte, e făină. Revin la ea, e mai interesantă ca gândurile mele.

I was wearing TerraNova jacket, H&M scarf, no name blouse & gloves, Sisley pants, Ucca bag and BBup shoes















 I'm on the train, reading a book with sorth stories. I'm flirting with the guy parallel with me, on which chest are resting the feet of his girlfriend. I'm eating pizza while listening to music and thinking about you. I'm thinking about my life and about the decisions i made. :) Budapest already conquered me. My friends think that i''ll will get out ravished from this trip. I hope not, because this time I was a bit more lucid. I still think about you, i think about others in the same time. I analyze my drone status and  I realize how much I love traveling. How much I envy other people's happiness and how much I love fast food, even if I avoid it as much as I can. There is always something that pulls you out from your reality and put you in the common reality. A book, a voice, a gesture. Alex doesn't get it why, me and Oana like taking photographs of everything. He's more technical, but we are starry-eyed, women, we get lost in details. Oana and Alex are reading, I started reading too, the book made me think about my life, and then I woke up in a life that doesn't belong to me. I'm thinking about G, I'm thinking why I don't want him as a boyfriend, why am I scared?  I remember the night that I spent at his place, drinking beer and watching TV.  I wanted him at that moment, maybe because he was inaccessible or could've been the beer?  Recently, he told me he wants to cuddle a bit when he's back, maybe I want that too. I'm scared, too scared that I'll ruin a friendship for nothing, I'll better take some pictures to the great lines from my book, it's a nice one. I'll go back to the book, it's more interesting than my thoughts. 

 Today's quote: “Wherever you go becomes a part of you somehow.”